Indefinite Singleness and God

Ever since this update two weeks ago, people have been asking me about my reasons for singleness.  I’d like to clarify that I am “indefinitely” single, meaning that I am unclear whether I will, later in life, end up being single.  This isn’t a “Woe is me” post.  This isn’t a “God has definitely told me this” post.  This isn’t a “I’m better than most of you” post.  For the time being, I feel extremely comfortable being single and have no desire to be in a relationship.  My reasons are as follows:

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Christians and Being Single


Many Christians have a distorted view of singleness.  If you’re reading this, don’t think you’re disqualified.  Why are you single right now?  Maybe not because God is “preparing you for your spouse”.  Maybe you should consider singleness as a viable option for the rest of your life.  Truly heed the words of the Apostle Paul:

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs —how he can please the Lord.  But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
-1 Corinthians 7:32-35

Paul isn’t just saying being unmarried is a good thing.  He seems to be making the argument that being single is the better thing because your attention and interests are undivided.  Don’t think I’m here to bash marriage - it’s human image of Christ’s relationship to the Church - but don’t fail to consider Paul’s words. 

Many of you assume that you will be married without even giving singleness later in life as an option.  Let me ask you this:  Would you sacrifice not being in a marriage to another human being if that was God’s will?

This is one area where I am amazed at some of our Catholic brothers and sisters and their total devotion to the Lord - to live a life married to Christ.  A life that is fully devoted to the Lord’s affairs.  Don’t fall into the trap of making God your Cosmic Matchmaker.

Cosmic Matchmaker Theology (Or “Misusing Christianity To Get a Spouse”)

You may have heard (or believe) things such as:  “If you want to get a girlfriend/boyfriend, read your Bible.” “God has someone picked out for you.”  “A girl has to be so lost in God that a guy has to seek Him in order to find her.”  Just typing those made me cringe.  When our religion becomes a gateway for us to find a spouse, then something has gone, very, very wrong.

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